Core Components

Every parenting plan should address:

Regular Schedule - Where the child lives on normal weeks
Holidays - Who gets which holidays, how you split them
Summer/Breaks - Extended time during school vacations
Decision-Making - Who decides on school, medical, religious issues
Communication - How parents communicate about the child
Exchanges - Where/when/how you hand off the child
Transportation - Who drives, who pays
Right of First Refusal - If one parent can't watch the child, does the other parent get first option?

Regular Schedule Examples

Week On/Week Off: Child stays with Parent A for 7 days. Exchanges every Monday at 6pm at Parent B's home. Simple, works well for older kids, requires flexibility.

2-2-3 Schedule: Parent A gets Mon-Tue, Parent B gets Wed-Thu, alternating Fri-Sat-Sun. More frequent contact, better for younger kids.

Every Other Weekend: Parent A gets Mon-Fri every week. Parent B gets Fri 6pm to Sun 6pm every other weekend, plus one weeknight dinner. Traditional schedule, less disruption to school routine.

Holiday Split Strategies

Alternating by Year: Parent A gets Thanksgiving in odd years, Parent B in even years. Reverse for Christmas.

Split Each Holiday: Christmas Eve with one parent, Christmas Day with the other. Switch who gets which half each year.

Fixed Assignment: One parent always gets 4th of July, other always gets Labor Day. Works if you each have strong preferences for specific holidays.

Decision-Making Authority

Joint Legal Custody: Both parents must agree on major decisions including school enrollment and changes, non-emergency medical treatment, religious upbringing, and extracurricular activities requiring significant time/money.

Sole Legal Custody: One parent makes all major decisions, though good practice is still to consult the other.

Tie-Breaker Provisions: If you can't agree, options include mediation required before court, specific professional decides (pediatrician for medical, etc.), or status quo continues until resolved.

Communication Guidelines

Be specific about method (text, email, phone, co-parenting app), response time (within 24 hours for routine, immediately for emergencies), topics (child-related only, not personal issues), and tone (business-like, no profanity or accusations).

Example clause: "All routine communication about the child shall be via the OurFamilyWizard app. Emergency communication may be by phone call. Parents shall respond to routine messages within 24 hours. All communication shall remain respectful and child-focused."

Exchange Logistics

Specify exact location (address, parking lot, public place), exact time, who is responsible for transportation, what happens if someone is late (grace period?), what to do if child is sick, and what the child should bring (clothes, medications, homework).

Example: "Exchanges shall occur at the parking lot of City Library, 123 Main St. The receiving parent shall arrive by 6:00pm. If the delivering parent is more than 15 minutes late without notice, the receiving parent may leave. Each parent shall ensure the child has sufficient clothing, medications, and school materials."

Frequently asked questions

QWhat is right of first refusal and should I include it?▾

AIf one parent can't care for the child for more than X hours, the other parent gets first chance before a babysitter. Pros: Maximizes child's time with parents. Cons: Can create conflict, complicates scheduling. Example: 'If either parent will be unable to care for the child for more than 4 consecutive hours during their parenting time, that parent shall first offer the other parent the opportunity to care for the child before arranging alternate childcare.'

QHow specific should the parenting plan be?▾

AVery specific. Avoid vague timing like 'Parent B gets weekends' (which weekends? what times?). Include exact times, locations, and procedures. A good parenting plan is boring, predictable, and specific. You should be able to explain it to a third party in 2 minutes.

QHow do I test if my parenting plan will actually work?▾

ABefore finalizing, ask: Does this work with work schedules and school? Can I explain this to a third party in 2 minutes? What happens if someone moves or remarries? Is this genuinely in the child's best interest, or am I trying to 'win'? If expenses exceed reality, rethink it.

Sources

Child Custody and Parenting Time — Family law best practices and parenting plan guidance
Family Law Self-Help — State-by-state family court resources
Model Standards of Practice for Family Courts — Professional standards for parenting plans and custody arrangements

Parenting Plan Builder Guide